


Learn to Love Again

by CarmillaAndStuff



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Love, One Shot, Some Fluff, okay technically not angst but it's an emotional roller coaster, sort of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-04-01 00:57:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3999838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarmillaAndStuff/pseuds/CarmillaAndStuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is what happens when I write at Four in the morning. I evidently get really emotional....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learn to Love Again

**Author's Note:**

> My first One Shot so yeah! Enjoy :) and please give feedback!

"Babe, don't do that. You'll mess it up!" I swatted her hand away from my hair with a laugh.

"You just look so beautiful, tonight." Her eyes were shining in the dim lighting and I couldn't help but smile. I didn't deserve her, I knew that much, but I was never gonna let her go, so long as she wished to stay.

She was my everything.

All the good parts of me I owed to the amazing woman in front of me. Beautiful blue eyes stared into my dark brown ones and I just felt worth something. She made me feel _worth_. Something I had never felt growing up. Everyday I spent trying to be someone who was worthy of her, even though she told me I'm silly to think I'm not.

She was my everything.

I smiled.

_She's so beautiful._

My smile fell as I stepped closer to her and cupped her face in my hands. I was young, but I knew how I felt, especially in that moment, under the fairy lights, in the gazebo out on the water. She leaned forward and kissed me, slow and sweet and full of every emotion I was feeling too. She pulled away and I growled in protest, seeking her lips once more. She giggled and pecked my lips once, quickly. I smiled and opened my eyes to see her beaming back at me. A softness in her eyes that I had grown to adore. To love.

"I love you," I whispered the words, meant only for her ears, and held my breath, waiting for her response.

She didn't even think before murmuring, "I love you, too," against my lips.

* * *

It had been three years. Three years and it still hurt like hell. I walked through the entrance of the cemetery, flowers in hand. Some days I still couldn't believe she was gone and I was still here. It shouldn't have been her, I was in the car that night too, she should have been the one to walk away with a few broken bones. Not me. And certainly not the douche bag who was driving drunk.

I sighed as I neared her grave. The sun was shining too bright for a day like today. I dropped to my knees, in front of her headstone, and placed the flowers at the base. I felt myself begin to tear up as I traced her engraved name with my fingers.

'ELL'

The only girl I had ever loved. The only one who had ever truly loved me. I wiped the moisture away from my eyes, not wanting to cry as I realized I was not alone in the cemetery today. Just a few feet over a small, blonde woman was setting flowers down. She kissed her hand and placed it to the top of the headstone with a sad smile before walking away, arms crossed over her chest. She was walking closer to me, so I looked back to Ell. But looking at her grave again broke me. I tried to keep the tears away, but they couldn't be stopped. Stupid eyes. Stupid tears. Stupid love and emotion and _loss_. I rested my hand over her name once again as I let my tears fall.

"It gets easier." I heard a voice from behind me say. I turned to find the blonde standing behind me. I gave her a look because, what does she know? Ell was all I had. This girl, this little ball of sunshine, probably had tons of people there for her. She didn't know what I was going through.

It wasn't until she spoke I realized I had been vocalizing my thoughts.

"You're right," she said," I did have people around to help me. I- I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have..."

I looked up at her. She looked embarrassed and ashamed and guilty. Suddenly I felt terrible. She was really only trying to be kind.

"No," I sniffed, calming my tears,"no, it's... _I'm_ sorry."

"Don't apologize! I never should have said anything. I just..." she paused, furrowing her brow in search of the right words, "I don't know. You looked like you needed... _something._ "

I raised an eyebrow at her.

_What is she trying to say?_

She groaned and covered her face with both hands.

"Forget it," she said,"I'm usually better with words. And I don't usually invade such personal moments..." she dropped her hands, and a look of horror flashed across her face before she muttered, " Oh my gosh, what am I _doing_? I just stomped in on this and... crap what the hell is wrong with me...?"

The look on her face as she rambled was priceless, and, despite the ache in my heart, I felt myself chuckle. She looked down at me, still wide-eyed and horrified at herself.

"It's not funny! I'm really, really sorry. And oh my god _why_ am I _still_ talking?" She shook her head in disbelief.

I looked up into her eyes, where I saw nothing but true kindness and honesty. How could she care so much about a perfect stranger?

"I... I guess because we're all strangers at some point. You gotta start from somewhere, right?" she offered me a small smile and I realized I had vocalized my thoughts again.

_Dammit._

I kept a straight face, but nodded, taking in her words.

She hesitated for a moment before speaking again. "Why don't you let me buy you a coffee or something? Y'know to apologize for everything."

I looked at her kind eyes and kind smile and felt a fluttering inside of me I thought had died long ago. I looked back to Ell. My Ell. She wouldn't want me living like this after three years. She'd want me to be happy. And god knows I would always do anything to make her happy. Maybe it was time for both of us to find some happiness.

I kissed my hand and put it over Ell's name, with a whispered, "I'll always love you." before standing up and turning to face the blonde. I gave her a small smile and nod and she beamed as she stuck her hand out for me to shake.

"I'm Laura. Laura Hollis."

I took her hand and the fluttering in my stomach return.

"Carmilla Karnstein."

She let go of my hand, still smiling as we went to leave. "Well Carmilla," she said,"I guess we're not strangers anymore.

* * *

Two years. It has been two years since the ball of sunshine that is Laura Hollis entered my life. These past two years take me back to a time of pure happiness. Sure, _that_ day rolls around every year, and it's still hard. And it still hurts. But now I'm not alone. I've got people who care about me. Even if those people happen to be the 'dimwit squad' that is Laura's group of friends. I suppose it could've been worse.

But most importantly, I have Laura. And I'm the one she looks at like a child seeing the stars for the first time. And she's my world. My everything. And I never thought I'd get to feel like this again. It's so familiar and yet so different. And I wouldn't change it for the world.

"Hey," Laura says, pulling me back into the moment. Her hand squeezes mine gently and I smile down at her before looking back up at the star-filled, night sky. "Where did you go there, Carm?"

I looked at her again before letting go of her hand, only to snake my arms around her waist. She puts her arms around my neck, hugging me close. I nuzzle into her neck, which elicits a giggle from her, causing me to smile. I place a small kiss right below her ear before drawing back to look at her. Our eyes meet and I feel my heart racing in my chest. Both of our smiles fade as I lean in a kiss her lips softly. I pull back a moment later and rest our foreheads together. I open my eyes to see her warm brown eyes on mine, searching.

Finally she whispers, "I love you, Carmilla Karnstein."

I try to kiss her again but we're both smiling too wide and it's sloppy. But it's nothing less than perfect because it's _Laura._ I give up on the kiss and say the words I've been dying to say for months.

"I love you, too, Laura Hollis."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! :) See at least it was a happy end. (gotta love little awkward Laura)


End file.
